chapter 1

I’d been in a secret relationship with my brother’s best friend for three years.

Every time I mentioned making it public, he’d promise, “Soon.”

Then at a party, someone slipped drugs into his drink. I didn’t hesitate—just shyly snuggled into his arms, acting as his "remedy."

After that, he drowned himself in alcohol, nearly dying from kidney failure.

The doctor said he wouldn’t live more than three years.

I insisted on marrying him, determined to stay by his side till the end.

But after the wedding, Julian Hart was like a different person.

He tortured me in every way possible.

After eighteen miscarriages, I died right in front of him.

That’s when I found out the truth: he hated me with all his heart.

Because his first love, who had just returned from abroad, caught us in that wild night, he thought I’d drugged him on purpose.

When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day Julian got drugged.

Tears stinging, I pushed him toward his first love with my own hands.

But he panicked.

The sharp pain from those miscarriages had just faded when I heard a low, strained whimper.

“So hot…”

I looked up to see Julian with his shirt open, revealing his perfect body.

He mumbled something about being too hot, inching closer, his mind clearly addled.

That’s when it hit me—I’d been given a second chance.

In my past life, when he was drugged, I’d surrendered myself to him willingly. All it bought me was torture and a gruesome death.

Watching him suffer now, my heart twisted with a dull ache.

My foolish, reckless love in that life had made me act like a fool, costing me everything, even my life.

This time, I wouldn’t repeat that mistake.

I pushed Julian back, fumbled for my phone, and fired off a text to Lila Bennett.

Ignoring Julian—flushed, panting, sprawled on the couch—I darted out to a convenience store and grabbed a box of ultra-thin condoms.

When Lila showed up, I thrust the box into her hand.

“About time you came to your senses,” she said, arching an eyebrow, a glint of secret joy flashing in her eyes.

She slipped off half her clothes, revealing the sexy lingerie she’d clearly prepared beforehand, and pushed the door open to go in.

In no time, blush-inducing sounds came from the room.

Julian called Lila’s name over and over—like a knife twisting in my chest, making it bleed.

Squatting in the corner all night, I heard the sounds endlessly, my legs going numb and lifeless.

The next day, I found my brother and took the initiative to say I wanted to marry the arranged partner—Ethan Crawford, Julian’s worst rival.

“Audrey Clarke, are you sure?”

My brother Noah Clarke looked at me like I’d lost my mind.

“I’m sure.”

This time, I’d keep as far from Julian as humanly possible.

Julian stepped out of the shower, clad only in a towel, his eight-pack and sharp V-line on full, unapologetic display.

I froze for a split second. In my past life, I’d been so dazzled by his looks—blinded, really—that I’d tumbled headlong into love, only to end up dead.

“Audrey, I still can’t get over Lila. Maybe we should just…”

Julian trailed off, his words measured, as if treading carefully.

Right. Even when I’d breathed my last in that past life, he’d never gotten over her.

Even when he was with me, his thoughts had always drifted back to her.

The very idea made my stomach churn.

Disgusting.

Julian’s brow furrowed.

“Audrey, cut the act. I didn’t sleep with you last night. I didn’t even touch you. You can’t be pregnant.

“I’m sorry, but no one is right or wrong in love. If I don’t love you anymore, I just don’t.”

I fought down the nausea in my stomach.

“Julian, you’re right. So let’s break up.

“Stay away from me. The farther, the better.”

Just then, Lila came out of the room in my silk pajamas, deliberately baring a section of her neck—covered in a dense cluster of hickeys.

She threw herself into Julian’s arms, bit her lip, and said guiltily, “Julian, did last night make Audrey mad? But I never heard anything about you two...”

She choked up, then turned to me. “Audrey, don’t be angry. I promise I’ll leave Julian. I’ll never show up in front of you again.”

Julian took Lila's hand. "Don't you dare leave me!"

Then, his voice softening with tenderness, he added, "Lila, I only ever saw her as a little sister. You're the woman I truly love. If you leave, I'll lose my mind."

Lila nodded, then shot me a smug smile behind his back.

“Audrey, can I use your shower? You know how it is—last night with Julian got a little wild. I feel sticky and gross.”

I said coldly, “Go ahead. But leave my house as soon as you’re done.”

I watched Lila head to the bathroom.

Then Julian and I started packing up our couple’s things.

We’d broken up. It was time to clear everything out.

Julian didn’t seem to believe I’d really let him go. He narrowed his eyes, studying me closely.