chapter 1

Five years into my marriage with Matthew Sheridan, he suddenly told me he wanted to be a father.

A month later, I discovered I was expecting.

While cleaning the house, I accidentally uncovered his secret.

Matthew had always loved another woman—someone he could never have.

She could not have kids, and he planned to give her our baby.

From the very beginning, everything had been part of his plan.

So I made an appointment for an abortion.

Then I just sat there, watching him smile and dream out loud about our future, pretending nothing was wrong.

When the national holiday came around, he actually brought her—his "beloved"—to our family dinner.

Right there, I threw the abortion paperwork in his face. That was when he finally cracked.

"Please schedule the abortion for me," I said. "The sooner, the better."

The doctor looked so stunned that his glasses almost slid off his face.

"Are you sure about this? Every checkup's been perfect. The baby's healthy."

"I'm sure. Just get it done as soon as possible."

Worried he would keep asking questions, I grabbed the prenatal checkup forms and rushed out.

As I shoved the papers into my bag, something poked my hand.

I looked down and saw the edge of an old book sticking out. It was a worn-out diary, the cover faded, and the corners bent from being read so many times.

The handwriting inside was unmistakable—it was Matthew's.

I had only wanted to clean out the junk room to turn it into a nursery. Yet, I never expected to find that—a diary full of page after page, all about his love for a woman.

However, that woman was not me.

Her name was Lydia Johnson.

The diary started years back.

It covered everything—how they met, how they fell for each other, and how it all ended.

The most recent entry was just a few months ago.

I flipped through the pages, my face calm, but my heart sinking deeper with every word.

A few days earlier, Matthew had promised he would come with me to a prenatal checkup.

However, the moment we arrived at the hospital, he got a call and left.

He looked so serious, and he did not even bother to explain what happened. By the time I finished the appointment, he was long gone. Not even a single text.

I had to go through the rest of the appointment alone, getting sympathy looks from strangers. I almost fell, and he never showed.

According to his diary ...

That same day, Lydia had come back into the country.

That phone call must have been from her.

I had thought that checkup might be a turning point for us.

However, I guess I had just been lying to myself.

I gently touched my stomach, feeling the little life growing inside.

Sweetheart, I couldn't let you be born into something like this. I wouldn't let the child I carried for ten months end up calling someone else "Mom."

After leaving the hospital, I went home to pack a few things for my stay.

That was when my phone rang. It was one of Matthew's friends.

"Hey Amelia, Matthew's wasted. Can you come get him? He's causing a scene."

After I heard what he said, I replied flatly, "Okay."

It was not the first time. Every time he got drunk, no matter how late, I would go get him.

I used to worry he would get cold on the way home, so I always brought him a jacket.

He never wore it. In fact, he always complained I was too controlling.

Now, I was just done.

This would be the last time. I was going to make it clear to him that we are done.

I followed the location his friend sent and headed to the bar. Before I even opened the door to the private room, I heard laughter and teasing from inside.

"So, Lydia, what brought you back from overseas? Still hung up on our boy Matthew? Is that why you came back to find him?"

"Stop joking. We're just friends now. Besides, Matt's already married, right?"

That sweet, flirty voice floated through the cracked door, and I froze.